You Can’t Move On Until You Tell Yourself a Different Story

Stop ruminating on the old and embrace a new reality.

3 min readMay 14, 2021

Most people believe that with enough time, they’ll be able to let go of the past and move on to a better future. Yet here you are — years after the fact — and you’re still ruminating on what happened, reciting the same old stories in your head and not moving forward.

The truth is, you can let go and move on at any time. There is no appropriate length of time to wait. But letting go and moving on is difficult because you’re required to give up the certainty of your old story and embrace the uncertainty of a new one. Life is short, and that old story doesn’t have a place in your life anymore. Life is calling you forward, but you continue to hold on to a past that no longer serves you. There’s a verse in the Old Testament book of Isaiah that says:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” — Isaiah 43:18–19, NIV

For most people, the answer is no — they don’t perceive the new future life/God/the Universe is trying to hand them. Why? Because all your energy goes into holding on to your old story. You fight against embracing a new story because your identity is inextricably linked to your old story.

Your identity is the story you tell yourself about who you are. To let go of your old story feels like a betrayal, doesn’t it? That’s because it is. You have to accept your old story was right for you at one point, but based on your new circumstances, that old story is now holding you back.

We hold onto old stories because they’re comfortable. You ruminate on them because you’re stuck in how you think things should be. You obsess over the relationship that should have worked, the job offer that should have come through, or the startup that should have been successful. But the past is dead, and life is trying to get you to let cut the dead weight and sail on.