I’ve Got This Parenting Thing Down – All You Have to Do is Hold Your Breath

Get your hazmat suit ready.

Kyle Chastain
3 min readJun 3, 2021

As a parent, especially a parent of small kids, you face a variety of smells.

If your kid(s) are older, perhaps you’ve forgotten the pungent smell of a dirty diaper after it has sat all night. Or maybe you need a reminder about the acrid odor of fresh vomit on your work clothes. I’m sure those thoughts bring back wonderful memories for you.

With all the smells I’ve faced in my years as a parent, I have learned sometimes the only way to get through parenting is to hold your breath.

The biggest problem with kids

When it comes to sharing smells, kids have no boundaries. They don’t get there are some things that no one else wants to experience so they walk around producing all kinds of odors and not caring about how sick it makes you. And guess what? Kids don’t have the responsibility to clean up after themselves, so they don’t care when they make their smells.

It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, kids produce the worst smells when you want it the least. For example:

  • the middle of the night
  • before you leave for work
  • while you are sitting at the dinner table
  • out in public with friends
  • after you have eaten a meal and your stomach is full

Kids have no respect for you at all and will do as they please. They’ll enter your house covered in smelly mud. They’ll pee on your bathroom rug while watching the bathtub fill up with water.

The only way you can get through parenting is to hold your breath.

Photo by Anton Maksimov juvnsky on Unsplash

Do this if you can

For some odd reason, grandparents and older people don’t seem to be affected as much by these smells. I suspect it’s because once you reach a certain age, you start to produce some of those smells again. But that’s only a guess so please don’t take offense.



Kyle Chastain

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